| Pedicure |
[30 Dec 2009|01:05am] |
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mood |
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 refreshed |
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Gave myself a pedicure tonight.
Got hot water, a cupcake shaped bath bomb and soaked my feet.
Used strawberry exfoliant from The Body Shop and 3 different kinds of pumice stones/sticks to make my feet soft, then I covered them with Body Shop peppermint foot lotion and put on my moisturiser socks so it absorbs over night.
Today I got a new cleanser and moisturiser from the chemist. It's from the UK, colour/fragrance free and made with different plants and vitamins :)
I also got Bio Oil to put on my scars. Apparently it's really good at taking the colour out of them. It better work.
I wish I owned a chemist so I could try different products all the time.
I waste so much money on make up and skin care.
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| Christmas weekend |
[29 Dec 2009|12:06am] |
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mood |
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happy |
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music |
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Tegan + Sara |
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I spent Christmas Eve with Tennille cos her family went away and left her home alone.
We watched quality WWE wrestling dvds and laughed at Vince McMahon.
Couldn't be bothered going to Pure and Sarah bailed on Ash's so afterward I went home to bed.
Woke up at 10am Christmas day and waited for Trish to arrive so I could open my presentsssss.
Pretty sure I bought the best presents this year.
Got both of my sisters a ticket to Lily Allen :)
Also got Trish the Death Cab cd. Hopefully she likes them.
I got perfume, money, Harry Potter dvd and heaps of other stuff.
Went to my aunties house for lunch and played backyard cricket.
I ruled at it.
Had boy chats with Brit and got interrupted (N)
"And this is the second boy I'm hooking up with...."
Took photos wearing various hats and taught my second niece how to steal.
Got to 6.30pm and we went home.
Went around to Tennille's briefly and Cash ripped my stockings :|
Went home and watched Harry Potter in bed.
Completely skipped the part where Dumbledore dies cos I cry everyyyyytime.
Boxing day I got up and drove all the way to Soph's house.
When I got there her and Laura were already drinking Mojito's.
We danced around to Jay Z and Tila Tequila. Kimmy, Kimba and Erin arrived and then we made fun of people we don't like.
Photos happened shortly after:
It got to about 11.00pm and the girls decided they wanted to go to Cruze.
Drove to Mornington and danced on the bonnet of my car until Dana arrived.
We couldn't get in cos Kimmy only brought her passport with her.
The photo in it is of her when she was 8.
Walked down to some terrible looking club and got in.
I wanted to die the minute I walked in. Left about 15 minutes later and drove home.
Stayed up till 7am talking to this babe on msn ^,^
Went to bed when it was light then got up at 6.00pm and drove back to Edithvale.
Got there, started drinking, got dressed, did make up, danced around and laughed about the Rabbi locked up in Sophia's backyard.
"So you're parents let you keep him as long as you feed him and clean his cage?"
"Yeah, I have to cover his cage at night and give him a wet towel on hot days"
Got to Plastic and was horrified at the heinous line!
Waited an hour and a half just for Snitch cos it was his birthday!
Listened to an enraged goth behind us bitching about pusher-in-ers.
"Get cha milk bags out!"
"Dana has licorice milk bags. Sophia's are iced coffee"
"What would you do if an elderly gent came and asked to touch your supple breasts?"
"They're so succulent"
"Oh god, the Rabbi just messaged me againnnn! He has stockholme syndrome. Once he escaped and we caught him making hotdogs"
I couldnt stop laughing. My stomach hurt.
Got inside and saw my Jamie <3
Lined up for an hour to get a drink and almost pissed my pants cos an Underoath song other than Reinventing your exit came on.
Witnessed a guy singing to his drink, went to 7-11 for water and cigs then Jamie and I went off to find babes.
No such luck. Plastic was talentless.
Laura wanted to leave so I said my goodbyes and left justtttt as BMTH came on :'(
Car chats with Dana on the way home made me happy. I love her. She's my habibi.
Got back to Sophia's and sat on her bed msning boys and spooned.
Sophia is such a creep in her sleep.
She moves around like a snake and clutches her phone hahaha
Rupert was being such a loud, annoying bastard so I left at like, 7.30am and drove home.
Slept alllllllllllllllllllllllllllll morning and then went to Tennypenny's and watched Jackass.
Almost vomited when Steve-O put a fish hook through his mouth.
EW EW EW!!!
Went home, got dressed and collected Jayde and Annette.
We went out for dinner cos it's Annette's birthday.
I got her a bottle of Moscato and a Freddo ice cream cake cos I'm the best friend ever.
Went back to Jayde's and played Wii.
I can honestly say I do not enjoy Wii's at all. So fucking boring.
I have all this week off and no plans besides New Years.
I want to go to the Aquarium!
Some one come with meeeee.
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| Galaxy far, far away. |
[26 Dec 2009|06:47pm] |
I want to swim in the black lake.
Finally got the Deathly Hallows where they are to stay foreverrr!
<3 HP
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| Fatty McFat girls |
[26 Dec 2009|02:57pm] |
 A poll actually showed people prefer the middle and right.  This girl above. No idea who she is. But she was called "huge". Yep. That babe, was called fat and huge...ummm.....do you see it?  Karolina Kurkova was singled out for having back fat and cellulite. She's a fucking supermodel and people are like ohh wahhh! she has back fat! Bet she looks ten million times better in a fucking swimsuit than everyone who commented EVER will.  Miranda Kerr was called too skinny.  Oh hello hot Kelly Osbourne, who once said she'd rather eat a plate of fries than diet. She had so much pressure on her and now she's like yeah suckit i'm a babe.  Sophie Dahl is a plus sized model and stopped traffic with the Opium billboard, now engaged to Jamie Cullum. "British model Sophie Dahl is the granddaughter of Roald Dahl, the legendary children's author best known as the creator of Willy Wonka. And in her prime, Sophie certainly looked like she'd know her way around a chocolate factory. The 40-30-40 blonde bombshell turned the fashion world on its ear by becoming a top name on the modeling scene, in spite of her unapologetically plump figure. For one of her early Vogue shoots, most of her outfits were unfastened in the back, because there weren't any in size 14."  Mischa Barton. (you know I had to add her in here somewhere)  THAT UP THERE^^^^^ is Mischa Bartons butt. HOLYYYY WOAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHE HAS CELLULITE. THE SNEAKY PHOTOGRAPHER WHO TOOK THIS PROBABLY DOES TOO. Can you see what I'm getting at? Or do I have to spoon feed this entry to you. You wonder why girls have eating disorders? "wow lose some weight" is just as bad as "wow do you eat?" I don't even need to say it. Stop calling people fat. Stop your snide jokes, and your "don't eat that!" comments. And quit counting fucking carbs and don't do stupid lame fucking drugs because you think you'll lose weight. The babes in the photos above all deal with what us "average" people deal with, tenfold. no wait, tenHUNDREDfold. But you see their photoshoots and they look immaculate. They're all good at what they do, they're not trashy, they're living their lives and people are still like "rah rah rah i don't like this or that or this". Everyone has flaws. Stop pointing out other people's. I'm pretty sure I've noticed I'm not the smallest. You don't need to point out that I'm "STILL eatingggg!!". I made a joke about comparing myself to Victorias Secret Models the other day and got a zillion lashings from my friends. Everyone's sick of it. People think it's nothing to say "do more exercise"...but in a girls' head, "do more exercise" translates into "you're so obese you need lipo to fix your fat ass and no amount of exercise will help you". Just don't say anything at all. I think everyone is beautiful. I can't think of one celebrity who I don't like, and I can't think of any girls I've encountered, who aren't gorgeous. Body image, schmody image, get over it. Live and let live. This was for you, you know who you are <33333 |
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| :| |
[26 Dec 2009|12:47pm] |
'Hmmm, that looks fattening'
'Should you be eating that?'
'I didn't know whether to get you chocolates cos I thought you might be on a diet'
'Next year you're going on a diet'
'I'm gonna run you over...... god, imagine the damage (to the car)
Thanks guys for making my christmas that little bit more special!!
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[25 Dec 2009|09:40pm] |
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mood |
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 rejected |
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I still like you.
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[25 Dec 2009|12:40am] |
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mood |
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 grumpy |
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Of course you were busy tonight.
I don't know what I'm thinking sometimes.
I'm drifting from people and I don't even care.
New people will take their place.
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| Christmas Eve |
[24 Dec 2009|07:05pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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Yesterday was the work Christmas lunch. I had 2 drinks and felt drunk.
The tablets I'm taking don't make it any better - I constantly feel dizzy and drunk.
The work party went too quickly. Was having so much fun. Went back to work and got my car, came home and watched Knocked Up then returned my late rentals to Blockbuster.
Tennille and I went to Highpoint to shop. got invoved in a carpark fight lol
Man assumed that he was waiting for carpark first just because he couldn't see me. Yelled at me and everything.
Got my KK present and had dinner. Left relatively early because Tennille had work today.
On the way home stopped at Tosh's to lend him $10.
Mistake.
Today I woke up relatively early and had a shower.
Discovered I have no soap, razors or moisturiser left.
Went to Watergardens, paid $600 off my credit card, got a Christmas present for Sandip and then stopped in at Priceline and spent a lot of money on toiletries and other stuff which I probably don't need.
Came home, wrapped MORE presents, had a nap then went to Safeway. So packed. Couldn't get a car park.
I just had dinner and now I'm resting.
Supposed to be going to Leah's for her Christmas party but there's going to be gaybos there that I don't like and I can't drink.
Everyone will be at Pure afterwards which is fucking gay.
Tennille's family have abandoned her and gone on a holiday without even inviting her so I might have a cheap night in with herrrr.
Merry Christmas everyone!
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| Waterbed. |
[24 Dec 2009|02:15am] |
To think you'd find alligators between your sheets;
When your bed is a sewer, its water green.
You can break a thousand promises upon its stagnant back,
A thousand dreams upon its liquid spine.
The rats, they speak in tongue and gnaw at the bedpost.
Bound, your hands; attempts to flee removed from the situation.
It is wrong to believe you can account for the wildlife here.
You didnt bring the sewer to ground,
You buried your bed,
Broken shovel.
It was always going to end up too deep, not deep enough.
Still you lie in it.
Your bed sinks lower and the teeth sink, blunt.
Carry my sickness away at this time of year.
Fluoresce, innocent sewer sky, with the black of your tunnels.
Trash; rubbish, up to your knees.
Still you lie in it.
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| Restraint. |
[24 Dec 2009|01:12am] |
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similar to having a thumbtact stuck to the bottom of your foot. Initially it stings, but with every step it get lodged deeper and deeper into your flesh with a painful clicking on the pavement that warns you. For too long your in the habbit of walking so you contiue without bothering to remove it. The pain, after a while begins to dull as you become accustomed to the pain, but with each new blow the pain is a reminder of what you could've stopped three blocks ago. But still you contiue to walk. You reach a steep hill. Your steps become firmer and more diliberate as you convince yourself you want to be at the top of the hill. That's where its safe, and you prey the pain will end when you reach it. But as you try harder to walk the pain hurts more and more. It consumes you, and you forget you're walking. You're dizzy from the pain, and still the tack is driven deeper. The top of the hill becomes a blurry path, and you stumble preying the tack will dislodge and fall out mid step to make the journey easy. But it never does. It is the reminder that you have to help yourself. You have to sit down and remove it. But by this stage you are so used to having the painful tact in your body that you fear you will feel empty without it. You begin to lose memory of a time without it. And the more you walk and the tack keeps clicking, you pick up every piece of dirt the footpath has to offer, causing it to be embedded in your wound.. You feel sure you're headed in the right direction so you try to ignore it. But the more you go on the wound starts to fester. Youre in agony with infection and you are forced to take a seat. As you look at the bleeding oozing wound, you try hard to remember how it came to this. You try to remember why the tack is still there but you can't. You look for the top of the hill, only to realize its no longer in sight. Its no longer a hill, but everest. You realize that the pain you feel is throbbing through every part of your body poisoning your blood stream and affecting your judgement. You try to convince yourself you can go on. You get up, and the tack clicks. At the moment you realise, no moutain in the world is worth the sheer agony that is making your stomach heave. You remove the tack, throw it up the path, and run.
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| Withdrawls |
[23 Dec 2009|12:11pm] |
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mood |
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excited |
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Coming off medicine.
I'm feeling shakey, tingly and dizzy. I hate it.
Going to Plastic on Sunday night for Snitch's birthday.
Hell yes to $2 drinks and seeing friends I haven't seen in agggges.
Last day of work for the year. Half an hour to go :)
Might go to highpoint for 24 hour shopping tonight even though I've got almost all my presents.
Just need to get one for my sisters bf and a kk one for my family party.
Also going to get my aunty one for hosting christmas lunch. Again.
I cant think of a worse task than cooking for heaps of people!
I am so excited to give out the presents I bought.
Not wanting to sound up myself but I got really good presents.
At least I think so.
My sisters will either love, or want to sell their present on ebay.
<3
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[23 Dec 2009|09:59am] |
see, all negativity gone :)
I had the best weekend.
I left work early for a dr's appt on friday. Saw my old doctor who I used to go to when I was a kid and haven't seen in years. anyway I had a high temperature & swollen glands & told him I've been feeling nauseated and really tired.
so on saturday morning I had to go and get blood tests and pee in a cup!
I actually enjoy getting blood tests....weird.
so then I went home, packed my bags and got picked up by erin, kimba and kimmy, to go to tidal river.
"where are the street signs!!"
"oh my goddd, look at those hicks. we're soo in the country!"
"...sophia, we're in cranbourne."
"yeah! we're in the sticks!"
"geez, can tell you're queen of suburbia"
we drove and sang songs and attempted eye spy...then ended up in WONTHAGGI, Completely lost hahahaa. asked a man at a servo, and got directions back again.
so we took the "back streets" to tidal river, stopped off for roadside pics and then found the cabin.
the older couple who own it were so lovely. had cookies waiting for us.
so we hung around, then went to the "river" (actually a stream that looked more like dr pepper than water), took really laaaame funny photos.
then we went back to the cabin, changed and went to foster for dinnz @ the pub.
talked about dirty shit at the table not realising everyone was eavesdropping on the out of towners convo.
"he just went in out in out in out! boooring"
"...well what'd you want him to do? wriggle it around?"
"YEAH LIKE woo0o0o0o *swirls finger in circular motion*"
"it was tiny and bent!"
"ewwwww"
"did he keep asking for your arse? cos he did to me."
"wanna have sex when we get back?"
"okay. but did you bring condoms?"
"there are nooo babes here...wait DOOR, DOOR, DOOR"
*all spin around and check the door*
"...I think he noticed us looking"
I watched a man nearby pissing himself at us.
we got drinks & headed back to the cabin, watched BAAAAD Carols and king kong, which made kimmy and I sob like sooks while kimba and erin laughed.
seriously, dunno what it is. king kong is the saddest movie ever.
so kimba and erin conk out and kimmy and I take towels outside, lie on the grass and watch the stars.
it was so amazing. miillionsss of stars, could see the entire milky way.
went inside to bed & woke up to erin crawling all over the bed, "morning sunshiiiiine!". nothinnggg has changed, she's still the early bird.
"nooo I was dreaming that lady gaga was my best friend"
I had coffee on the decking and read my book. was such a nice morning.
then we packed the car & headed off back home in the sunshine listening to good ol' josh pyke.
stopped at a little cottage for lunch.
it was so nice to just relax with my oldest best friends. we haven't spent time with just the four of us in so long.
I got over my stressing and feel a lot better. things were put in perspective, when I was told that you don't deserve anything if you don't think you do. you kinda bring shit on yourself, and you're responsible for whatever you want to do with your life. guess I just felt a bit smothered/weighed down.
but I love my friends, sooo much.
they're the most genuine people, they're so grounded, see things for what they really are, yet at the same time, are sensitive at the same time and I absolutely hate seeing them upset. I always have the best fun when I'm around all those girls.
hung out at kimmys last night. dana and laura came, then dan later.
it was such a good night even though 3 big spiders ganged up on us.
soo I still want a different job. don't worry, I won't quit now, but its good knowing there are other options.
plus, my bum is getting ridiculous, I always swore id never be one of THOSE office ladies. I saw my reflection and was like OH, HELLO BOTTOM.
ehh. got my results yesterday. turns out 3 months a go I came in contact with glandular fever and have been recovering since. no wonder I've been feeling less than average and never getting better.
so I just have to let my immune system get rid of it. dunno how long it'll take.
just so effing glad I have holidays next week. ahh <3
plastic sunday? I think sooooo.
Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com
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[20 Dec 2009|02:49pm] |
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Apparently being a size 14 is the worst thing that can happen to a person.
It's the cause of all my illnesses, it's going to make me diabetic and it causes my waking up during the night.
I know I'm not thin, but I'm not exactly a fucking candidate for lap band surgery.
Give me a break.
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| It's so cold in this house |
[20 Dec 2009|01:15am] |
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Finally in bed, electric blanket on.
Saw Tahnee and Jayde tonight. Missed my babiess!
Didn't drink cos I'm on new medicine and it says I'm not allowed.
Have $70 for the next 3 days.
Awesome.
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[19 Dec 2009|04:16pm] |
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desperate |
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music |
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black cab |
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I feel so angry and horrible right now, and not really for any reason at all.
I've spent nearly the entire week in other peoples company and they constantly feel the need to do something "fun".
Im a fucking introvert and I can't stand being around others constantly, I never have time to do my own thing, like sleep, read, scan negs, update flickr, sew, draw, add things to my folio, just random boring bullshit you do when yr alone.
I feel like Im constantly being rushed from person to person as a form of entertainment.
All because Im the doormat who will go where they wanna go and eventually spend all the money I DONT have.
Im depressed, going through a 50g pounch of a tobacco in less than a week, and drowning myself in any alcohol I can get my hands on.
But supposedly Im having fun.
I really fucking need to disappear, but I have nowhere to go.
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[18 Dec 2009|12:23pm] |
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I spent between 2am-6am in the hospital with David this morning after watching him OD off the oh so intelligent combination of copious amounts of red wine and Xanax. It's now midday and I'm off to pick up josh's step brother from school to babysit for the day. A horror 8 year old with add whose only love is super violent video games and telling people he's going to kill them. Oh god, what an absolute horror a. Playing mother hen jenny is sucking me dry of all the hope and happiness I've worked so hard for. Gahhhh! Posted via LiveJournal.app.
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| keep it together, keep it together, keep it together. |
[17 Dec 2009|08:25pm] |
laying on my bed in my undies & big t shirt with lil wayne on it and hello kitty slippers drinking pulse, watching my carnivale dvd. I would be enjoying this but I am so on edge lately.
I'm constantly feeling guilty. like im not allowed nice things. this sounds really stupid but you might understand. I am exhausted. chopping myself into pieces and sharing among my friends and work and weekends and family and friends and work and seriously I've got nothing left for myself, like I don't feel I deserve anything, im not saying stop talking to me please don't, im just saying I alwaysssss have time for everyone, so much that I feel guilty if I just want to be alone for an hour and read my book, I never get a second of alone time and I feel like everyone will get mad if I say NO for one time, im still reeling from the shit day I've had and no one asks whether im okay its just everyone for themselves Im constantly asking the questions why are you sad how is this what'd you do today I am about to fucking explode, I feel guilty for wearing these hk slippers because that's kimmys thing, I bought a lil wayne shirt and squealed the fuck outta my lungs then realised lana is like married to him so I feel bad now and nye I just want to camp but there's always an issue, I feel fat and ugly and so fucking tired like I am about to cry or vomit every second of the day, my stomach kills and im sure the problems with my ovaries have worsened, my bosses are on my back about everything I do wrong because im in a complete daze at work, none of my colleagues chat with me or ask what I did on the weekend they dump their shit on my desk and chat to eachother, all I want to do is chill the fuck out and I cant, this is NOT like me but it happens every once in a while and I just go insane and turn into a bitchy hermit, I do not like it, so please gimme a sec and you'll have me again, but I need myself right now okay thanks
Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com
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| HA |
[17 Dec 2009|03:51pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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been a long time since i've posted anything on this site and my mind has been impregnated with so many thoughts since than and given birth to a greater many life lessons and amazing idea's and experiences. Be sinking ships and bombing planes as of recant and raised a new position in my life and begun to climb that foretold mountain to a greater self worth instead of looming at the bottom of the peak like stagnate water.
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[17 Dec 2009|11:36am] |
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I hope it hurt you half as much as you hurt me.
It was a different kind of hurt and I lost more than you but at least you know what it feels like you be fucked over by someone you trust.
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